Hi Writers Circle members,
I'm back from my long summer holiday break and I wanted to embrace creating stage 1 content lightly so that I could consistently create content and interact with my audience rather than taking very long to create a monologue which is unlikely to be read and never going to lead to interaction.
My content creation plan: I would like to use 30 mins on Monday to come up with a content structure (for an idea I choose from my content list) and then take 30 mins on Tuesday to write it up in a stage 1 content way. I would then repeat the same procedure on Wednesday and Thursday. This way I would create two pieces of stage one content each week, and would still have time to interact with my audience and create stage 2 content.
However, when I start to write, and endless flow of thoughts come over me, I feel the need to go to great depths to explore each aspect. This leads to very long articles that take forever to write, and while they help me organize my thoughts, I imagine that they are far to long to be read.
I have two questions:
- How might I repurpose the long text into shorter LinkedIn posts that are yet crunchy and insightful rather than superficial?
- How might I stay in stage 1 content creation mode? I tried time-boxing, but this didn't help. I think I tend to overload my structure.
Here's the looong article I just wrote (in this case, the intended audience is a LinkedIn group of more than 2.000 trained ORSC team coaches and faculty, and I am posting this as part of my worldwork project I need to complete while going through my ORSC certification).
Resonance over Silence: Letting go of Emotional Noise-Cancelling
As an ORSC team coach, one of the most critical competencies is the ability to read and work with the emotional field. I come from an engineering and physics background, where logic and objectivity trump introspection. From the very start of my certification journey, I knew this would be one of the areas where I'd really struggle.
Well, in the light of "who knows what's good and what's bad," I thought I'd share some of the insights I've gathered along the way.
The Desired Secondary Process
In the ORSC Edge model, the Secondary represents those parts of yourself that you might not acknowledge or even hide. These could be traits or feelings that you're not entirely comfortable with, or that only come out in certain situations.
So what is it, I'm uncomfortable with?
It never really occurred to me that I could actually check in with myself during a conversation with someone else. It was actually a friend who mentioned it a few years ago, and I found the idea really fascinating but also quite foreign. Working with emotions was certainly unfamiliar territory for me.
But let me show you what this territory looks like for me. When I dive into reading and working with the emotional field, it means I'm really tuning in to the emotional signals that show up in the relationship system. These signals are like little breadcrumbs that help me navigate and guide the coaching process.These signals can come from different sources:
- Firstly, there are my own emotions as a team coach. For example, I might notice feelings of frustration, excitement, or even boredom.
- Secondly, we have the emotions of team members, often expressed nonverbally. This can include things like smiling, sudden changes in posture, or even eye-rolling.
- And finally, we have the emotional field itself. This refers to the collective emotional atmosphere, energy, or vibe that is created by the feelings, attitudes, and interactions of the team.
Though I must admit, the emotional field still feels a bit daunting to me, embracing it actively can lead to some pretty compelling outcomes:
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Enhanced Team Dynamics: By consciously tuning into and working with emotions, I can better grasp the underlying feelings that shape team dynamics. This deeper understanding lets me address any unspoken issues or tensions within the team, fostering a more collaborative and harmonious working environment.
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Improved Communication: Emotions play a vital role in communication. By attuning to the emotional field, I can guide the team towards more open, honest, and empathetic conversations. This helps prevent misunderstandings and conflicts, and promotes effective problem-solving and decision-making.
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Increased Engagement and Motivation: When team members feel that their emotions are acknowledged and valued, they become more engaged and motivated. By recognizing and addressing the emotional aspect, I can help create a positive and supportive atmosphere that encourages team members to contribute their best efforts.
Primary - Emotional Noise-Cancelling
In the ORSC Edge model, the Primary represents the parts of yourself that you easily identify with and feel at ease expressing. These are the traits, behaviours, and emotions that you see as "you".
So, who am I? Well, I'm someone who values knowledge, likes to base my approach on empirical evidence, and generally tries to stay calm. Does this mean I'm completely oblivious to emotions?
Well, you know what? I'm actually pretty good at reading the emotional field. When I sense a positive vibe, I feel delighted for a moment. But then, anxiety starts creeping in, and all these nagging questions pop into my head like, "How on earth do I keep it this way?!"
But here's the thing, when I try to hold onto this pleasant state, it stifles the coaching process. It's like I unknowingly embrace certain ways of being while discouraging the expression of others. When I use emotions in this manner, they no longer provide me with valuable insights. So, I tend to rely on consensus reality – you know, facts and figures. It feels familiar to me and many of my clients. It's a great place to be, but by itself, it lacks that vibrant energy of life.
But if I read and interpret the emotional field as negative, I get scared. And then those nagging thoughts start creeping in my head like, "You need to solve this, like, right now!!" and "Uh-oh, that's not working, you're in trouble!!" It's super scary. But since I want to come across as professional, I try to suppress those scary feelings, activate my Emotional Disturbance Deflector, and put on a calm and detached demeanor.
The first dimension of ORSC is called intelligence. Let me tell you how I define intelligence: It's all about perceiving or deducing information and using it as knowledge to develop adaptive behaviors in a given environment or context.
You know what surprised me when I thought about my primary state? It's that I actually read and work with the emotional field. But here's the catch, there's one important difference from the 'official' ORSC competence: I don't use the information I gather from emotional signals to guide the coaching process. So, although I work extensively with the emotional field, I haven't quite mastered the art of using it intelligently. Instead, it seems like I use the information to calm down my own emotional chaos. It's like I'm engaging in some sort of emotional noise-cancelling.
The Edge - Moving from Silence to Resonance
Finally, the edge in the ORSC model is the boundary between your primary and secondary selves. It's a point of tension where you can choose to remain in your comfort zone (the primary) or step into the less familiar territory of your secondary self. This is often where growth and change occur.
So, what does my messy edge zone actually look like? Let's dive deeper into the auditory metaphor of emotional noise-cancelling. Instead of just filtering out emotional signals to avoid disturbance, I want to create emotional resonance.
The sociologist Hartmut Rosa describes resonance as a relational quality between humans and the world. He emphasizes the significance of emotional, affective, and transformative interactions. According to Rosa, one important aspect of this connection is what he calls "Unverfügbarkeit". It basically means that some things in the world are not completely under our control. Unverfügbarkeit suggests that there are dimensions of life that resist this kind of control. These uncontrollable aspects can be sources of frustration, but they can also be sources of meaning and depth when embraced and accepted.
I really like the word resonance because, to me, it signifies interaction. But, if I want to truly embrace Rosa's concept of "Unverfügbarkeit" as a team coach, I have to let go of always being in control. To do that, I need to stay curious for a little longer, stay in that space of not knowing yet, and really pay attention to the emotional signals. It's all about being open and playful.
I am learning to find balance between holding on too tightly and letting go completely. Like playing a string instrument, tuning into your emotional strings is all about finding the right tension. When this happens, an interactive music can be created that transcends the individual self.
My Edge-crossing Practices
On my journey to connect and work with the emotional field, I've discovered three practices that have really helped me. Let me share them with you:
Practice 1 - Emotional Colouring In Exercise
Duration: Approximately 6 minutes.
Purpose: Enhance emotional intelligence by identifying, expressing, and differentiating emotions.
Steps:
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Materials: You can write on paper or use a keyboard.
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Identify a Difficult Experience: Think about an experience from the last 24 hours. Choose something that was emotionally challenging. Briefly describe it, but mainly focus on your feelings.
Write for about 3 minutes. Describe your emotions deeply. Pay attention to physical sensations associated with these feelings. Note any thoughts, images, or impulses. Use metaphors if helpful. Be raw and honest.
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Switch Focus to a Positive Experience: After 3 minutes, shift your attention to something positive from the last 24 hours that you're grateful for. Briefly describe it and then focus on your feelings.
Write authentically about your emotions for 3 minutes. Describe how this experience affected you emotionally and physically. Include any associated thoughts, images, or impulses.
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Self-Assessment: After writing about the two different experiences, look back at what you've written and rate, on a scale of 1 to 10:
- Emotional Differentiation: Did you accurately perceive and describe the range of emotions? Was there a distinction between how you connected with the situation you identified as positive compared to the one you labeled as negative?
- Emotional Intensity: How strongly and vividly did you feel the emotions?
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Repeat as Desired: Try to practice this exercise daily for a few days or several times a week. You can adjust the time frame beyond the last 24 hours or even explore anticipated future emotions. Keep a record of your practice if it helps you.
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Optional Sharing: You can choose to share your writings with someone you trust, like a friend, partner, or coach, but this is entirely optional.
Practice 2 - Emotions and Body Sensations GPS Exercise
Duration: Ongoing throughout a challenging task, with check-ins every 15 minutes.
Purpose: Enhance self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and focus during challenging tasks by integrating emotional and bodily signals rather than suppressing them.
Steps:
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Task Preparation: Begin a challenging and potentially uncomfortable task that you need to work on independently, such as writing articles or composing an important email.
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Set Alarm: On your phone or a timer, set an alarm to remind you to check in with yourself every 15 minutes during your task.
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Three Check-In Questions:
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Question 1: What am I feeling right now?
- Pause your work and take a moment to identify and label your current emotions. Be specific about what you are feeling. For example, you might feel frustrated, anxious, motivated, or focused.
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Question 2: What are my body sensations right now?
- Pay attention to physical sensations in your body. Notice any tension, relaxation, warmth, coldness, or discomfort. Explore how your emotions might manifest physically.
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Question 3: How can I integrate this emotional and bodily information to guide me as I work on this particular task?
Reflect on how your emotions and body sensations relate to your task. Instead of suppressing them, consider how you can use this awareness to refocus and enhance your approach to the task. Explore ways to integrate these signals into your work to make it more effective.
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Use the Information to Refocus: After answering the three questions, apply the insights gained from your check-in to guide your work. If you discover you're feeling overwhelmed, distracted, or deviating from your task, use this self-awareness to refocus and integrate your emotions and body sensations into your work.
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Repeat Check-Ins: Continue working on your task and repeat the check-in process every 15 minutes as prompted by the alarm. Regularly integrating your emotions and body sensations into your work helps you stay in tune with yourself and maintain focus.
I find this exercise surprisingly helpful, in fact I used it to write this post. It's like tapping into my own emotional field and using it to guide me in slow motion. It's great to practice with myself at my own pace.
I came up with this exercise on my own, but it was definitely inspired by the work of George Kao. You can check him out at
Home - George Kao. He is awesome!
Practice 3 - Emotions and Body Sensations Resonance Exercise
Duration: Approximately 26 minutes.
Purpose: Systematically train to enhance relationships through emotional resonance.
Steps:
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Set the Stage: Find a quiet and comfortable space with another person where you can engage in this exercise. You will take turns speaking and listening. Ensure you have about 15 minutes of uninterrupted time.
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Preparation (1 Minute): Before starting, take a moment to pause and reflect on a difficult situation involving another person or a group of people that you would like to share during this exercise.
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Person A shares while B listens (5 Minutes):
- Person A speaks about the challenge you chose for about 5 minutes. While speaking, stay tuned into your emotions and body sensations. Express yourself authentically without focusing on facts or problem-solving.
- As the listener (person B), your role is to use your emotional responses as a resonance tool. Pay attention to how your partner's words make you feel and how your body reacts. Do not provide solutions or engage in fact-based discussions.
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Person B shares Resonances while A listens (5 Minutes):
- Person B now shares their observations while they were listening. Remember to provide emotional resonances rather than offering solutions or advice. Share how your partner's words made you feel and the physical sensations you experienced. Remember that your responses are a reflection of your emotional experience, not an evaluation of the speaker's words. Examples of resonance sharing might include:
- "When you spoke about that, I felt really close to you."
- "I sensed a lot of energy when you discussed [specific point]."
- "I felt a bit confused when you mentioned [particular aspect]."
- "Your words brought a sense of calm and reassurance."
- "I noticed my heart rate increased when you shared [emotion or experience]."
- "I noticed that I started to disengage when you talked about [topic]."
- "Your story sparked a feeling of curiosity and interest in me."
- "I experienced a sense of tension in my shoulders as you shared [emotion or situation]."
- As person A, it is important to keep in mind that the responses of person B are their own personal reactions and reflections on the emotional impact experienced during the exercise.
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Self-Reflection on Resonances (2 Minutes):
- As person A: After receiving emotional resonances from your partner (person B), take a moment to reflect on how hearing their responses has affected you.
- Ask yourself, "What has changed within me as a result of hearing these resonances?" Reflect on any shifts in your emotional state or physical sensations.
- Consider how the resonance sharing has impacted your understanding of the situation or relationship difficulty you initially shared. Notice any new insights or perspectives that may have arisen.
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Optional Discussion (1 Minute):
- If you both feel comfortable, you can briefly discuss how the exercise has influenced your understanding of each other and your emotional experiences. Share any insights or realizations you've had.
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Switch Roles (13 Minutes):
Step 11: Repeat steps 3 to 6, with person B sharing their challenging situation while person A listens with a focus on resonance.
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Closure: Conclude the exercise by acknowledging your partner and expressing gratitude for the empathic connection and emotional resonance experienced. This exercise can be repeated to strengthen your relational competence and empathic abilities over time.
The main goal of this exercise is to strengthen the emotional connection in the relationship, rather than directly solving the issue. But you know what's really surprising? I consistently gain valuable new insights that actually help me approach the situation better. It's like getting an unexpected bonus of insights!
Now Over to You
As I keep learning out loud on my journey of becoming a competent ORSC coach, I'm still working on mastering the art of working with the emotional field. It's definitely a challenging but fulfilling process, and I hope these insights and practices can help you on your journey too!
Let me know how it goes! I'm curious to hear about your experience and discoveries, so don't hesitate to share them in the comments or reach out to me directly.
