I recently had an a-ha! moment with regards to boundaries, and I'm looking for insight and ideas about how to "fix" this issue in my business. 

I am aware of having very fluid boundaries. This is a lifelong thing and while I am growing in my awareness of it, I don't often catch it before it happens. Here's how I notice it showing up in my biz:

• calls go way longer than planned for, because I have so much to say
• I give my services away for free under the guise of "discovery calls"
• I'm not getting enough paying clients, and trades don't pay the bills
• invoices don't get paid on time, and I am slow to follow up
• I create "bespoke" offers based on what the client needs/wants, and then have trouble figuring out what to charge for the service I just invented
• I make friends with clients and then have trouble drawing the line between "free for friends" and making a living

In my personal life:

• not saying no to my kids often enough
• struggling to get my ex to help pay for anything
• ending up in "love" relationships where either I want more or they want more, never an equal footing

Wow, now that I write it all down I can see there's quite the list! Fascinating. 💥

And please note- I am not feeling like a victim in this, I can see that I allow this stuff to happen, most of the time. I can also see how as a younger person I would have felt like a victim and often got taken advantage of. 

In my most recent moment of clarity on this, specifically after a way-too-long discovery call, where I basically gave the service away for free, and offered a bespoke solution- I turned to the services page of a more-established version of me who I greatly admire, to see what she would create in this instance, and I was struck by how clear her boundaries shone through on her services page. 

This is gold! 💡

From her services page, it was super clear what I would get if I worked for her. Down to the last detail, and options for "if you need more than this, maybe this other service is what you're looking for". I was blown away....in a good way. Eureka! She made it so clear, and wasn't bitchy about it, she was just, well, clear. I found that so refreshing.

She made it so clear, and wasn't bitchy about it, she was just, well, clear.

Quoting self....this is an important part of it. I don't want to be aggressive in my assertiveness, and I like being generous. But it's a fine line between giving it all away, and being generous. 

Work in progress. 

Thoughts and suggestions appreciated.