I'm feeling hot and stressed.
More accurately, I felt a lot of heat and stress in my body a few minutes ago. Truthfully, now, I'm coming back. Relaxing in. Coolness running through.
This morning, I tried to record two videos: one about "the bind" around finding my niche, and the second about my journey learning Spanish over the past two years and in particular, why I love the Mimic Method.
I struggled.
I'm now approaching two hours of "create" time this morning (vs. a normal 50-minute block). I recorded and deleted several times (vs. one take on earlier days). I felt lost and meandering and not so centered. My private journaling this morning got out a bunch of ideas, a bunch of thoughts, that were swirling around -- and that felt, in a way, fruitful, a completing expression -- but I didn't actually journal as a way to somatically ground myself, which I've gotten into the habit of doing in nearly all the previous days.
I'm not even sure where to take this written reflection now. So I'm going to pause.
---
I just meditated for two minutes and coming back to what's most essential, most on my heart to share:
1.
Before my wife and I moved to Guatemala, I went deep down the polyglot rabbit hole checking out dozens of different apps/approaches to language learning. My specific goal was that in spite of (or, actually, as a result of) learning Spanish through high school, I felt comfortable reading and writing, but I wanted to be able to speak better (e.g. have my "r" not always be a trill) and hear better (i.e. there was so much I would miss in conversation).
Fluent Forever came close for me, and I especially loved the philosophy outlined in the book, but in terms of the practice, I really "came home" once I found Idahosa's Mimic Method. I used his free materials for many months, which are very extensive, and then signed up for his Flow School to have increased structure and accountability (i.e. put in 1+ hour daily for 6 weeks) and perhaps most usefully, feedback on my recordings so I could know in a more "objective" way where I was on/off. I continued to use his Method afterwards to learn songs (e.g. Pies Descalzos, Volare), which felt fun -- like the joy of singing (because it literally was singing), and feeling the grooves of my mouth flow more and more in the movements.
Today, I still continue sessions with a conversational tutor through Mimic Method to move from "flow" to "native." I can more or less get across what I want to say and understand others, have gotten positive feedback around having "good" Spanish and particularly a "good accent" (my tutor actually told me that if she couldn't see my face on the video call, she wouldn't have known I was American -- she wouldn't have been sure where exactly in Latin America I was from, but she wouldn't have guessed a non-native speaker based on accent), and others in Guatemala have asked how I learned to speak like this.
That said, a part of actually doesn't think I speak Spanish very well, or really, is embarrassed that I don't speak better, especially after two years here. Sometimes, I have trouble understanding what's said, especially if I wasn't in the conversation to begin with, or just get a snippet overheard here-and-there, or it's a one-liner from a stranger on the street or soccer field with an accent. There are many times where I know I'm guessing at the right word, especially for subjunctive, past preterite/imperfect, and imperative conjugations.
But what I've also learned from Mimic Method is to not care so much. I just speak and flow and let it come out, and trust improvements over time, and trust that even if I'm grammatically wrong, can't understand a word/phrase or can't fully express my heart/inner world as I would in English... I can still connect with others. We can be in a place of flow and connection and co-regulation and joy and play together.
2. Last night, with two other solopreneurs in a bi-weekly group we call "Solo Together," I named a bind I was feeling around finding my niche.
On the one hand, I take all of Tad Hargrave and others' advice to heart and I can see so clearly how the clarity of who you're serving, and with what, is foundational. I've seen Tad coach others on their niche and I feel a similar intuition and taste when it, to me, feels opinionated -- like, I serve non-binary folks who want to do somatic work and come into their bodies, or I serve people who have an intuition that their chronic illness have bodily roots and are curious to explore that but don't know where to start... as opposed to just the headline of 'embodied transformation,' 'healing,' 'living your best life and highest aspirations,' etc.
On the other hand, a part of me was saying, "I don't actually care who it is -- the defining factor is, "Do you have something you really want to work on?"" In my own experience, I shifted over the past year and a half from playing with a narrow focus (e.g. startup founders, or even climate tech founders) to being honest with myself and recognizing that I felt aligned as I actually coached and served people from 'all walks of life.' In fact, even naming out some of their professions as an example here doesn't feel quite right -- it's not like that profession defined them in an essential way, at least in the context of our somatic coaching work together. The bodymind is the bodymind.
Anyway, as I named that bind... I felt a shift this morning. Like an iceberg had become dislodged, unblocked, things moving again.
For the first time in over two weeks, especially amidst the permaculture course hustle-and-bustle, I felt generative again around defining a niche.
I free wrote about somatically coaching people in their mid-20's who are... (1) lost, carving their own path, stepping into the unknown, (2) tired of stressful work, willing to commit to working lightly for its own sake, despairing, "Will I ever figure this work thing out?, and (3) finding their voice, practicing expression, noticing "being quiet"/observer and gently trying something new.
Also, I'm sitting with a moment from last nights' "Solo Together" when another group member named with such clarity who he's serving. I asked something to the effect of, "How do you know that's your niche? How do you have such clarity around this?" And with a big smile he said, "Because it's me."
In a similar (and perhaps obvious, self-evident way), the three niches of people in their mid-20's I wrote to coach are all parts of me.
I'm feeling hot and stressed.
More accurately, I felt a lot of heat and stress in my body a few minutes ago. Truthfully, now, I'm coming back. Relaxing in. Coolness running through.
This morning, I tried to record two videos: one about "the bind" around finding my niche, and the second about my journey learning Spanish over the past two years and in particular, why I love the Mimic Method.
I struggled.
I'm now approaching two hours of "create" time this morning (vs. a normal 50-minute block).…
I'm feeling hot and stressed.
More accurately, I felt a lot of heat and stress in my body a few minutes ago. Truthfully, now, I'm coming back. Relaxing in. Coolness running through.
This morning, I tried to record two videos: one about "the bind" around finding my niche, and the second about my journey learning Spanish over the past two years and in particular, why I love the Mimic Method.
I struggled.
I'm now approaching two hours of "create" time this morning (vs. a normal 50-minute block). I recorded and deleted several times (vs. one take on earlier days). I felt lost and meandering and not so centered. My private journaling this morning got out a bunch of ideas, a bunch of thoughts, that were swirling around -- and that felt, in a way, fruitful, a completing expression -- but I didn't actually journal as a way to somatically ground myself, which I've gotten into the habit of doing in nearly all the previous days.
I'm not even sure where to take this written reflection now. So I'm going to pause.
---
I just meditated for two minutes and coming back to what's most essential, most on my heart to share:
1.
Before my wife and I moved to Guatemala, I went deep down the polyglot rabbit hole checking out dozens of different apps/approaches to language learning. My specific goal was that in spite of (or, actually, as a result of) learning Spanish through high school, I felt comfortable reading and writing, but I wanted to be able to speak better (e.g. have my "r" not always be a trill) and hear better (i.e. there was so much I would miss in conversation).
Fluent Forever came close for me, and I especially loved the philosophy outlined in the book, but in terms of the practice, I really "came home" once I found Idahosa's Mimic Method. I used his free materials for many months, which are very extensive, and then signed up for his Flow School to have increased structure and accountability (i.e. put in 1+ hour daily for 6 weeks) and perhaps most usefully, feedback on my recordings so I could know in a more "objective" way where I was on/off. I continued to use his Method afterwards to learn songs (e.g. Pies Descalzos, Volare), which felt fun -- like the joy of singing (because it literally was singing), and feeling the grooves of my mouth flow more and more in the movements.
Today, I still continue sessions with a conversational tutor through Mimic Method to move from "flow" to "native." I can more or less get across what I want to say and understand others, have gotten positive feedback around having "good" Spanish and particularly a "good accent" (my tutor actually told me that if she couldn't see my face on the video call, she wouldn't have known I was American -- she wouldn't have been sure where exactly in Latin America I was from, but she wouldn't have guessed a non-native speaker based on accent), and others in Guatemala have asked how I learned to speak like this.
That said, a part of actually doesn't think I speak Spanish very well, or really, is embarrassed that I don't speak better, especially after two years here. Sometimes, I have trouble understanding what's said, especially if I wasn't in the conversation to begin with, or just get a snippet overheard here-and-there, or it's a one-liner from a stranger on the street or soccer field with an accent. There are many times where I know I'm guessing at the right word, especially for subjunctive, past preterite/imperfect, and imperative conjugations.
But what I've also learned from Mimic Method is to not care so much. I just speak and flow and let it come out, and trust improvements over time, and trust that even if I'm grammatically wrong, can't understand a word/phrase or can't fully express my heart/inner world as I would in English... I can still connect with others. We can be in a place of flow and connection and co-regulation and joy and play together.
2. Last night, with two other solopreneurs in a bi-weekly group we call "Solo Together," I named a bind I was feeling around finding my niche.
On the one hand, I take all of Tad Hargrave and others' advice to heart and I can see so clearly how the clarity of who you're serving, and with what, is foundational. I've seen Tad coach others on their niche and I feel a similar intuition and taste when it, to me, feels opinionated -- like, I serve non-binary folks who want to do somatic work and come into their bodies, or I serve people who have an intuition that their chronic illness have bodily roots and are curious to explore that but don't know where to start... as opposed to just the headline of 'embodied transformation,' 'healing,' 'living your best life and highest aspirations,' etc.
On the other hand, a part of me was saying, "I don't actually care who it is -- the defining factor is, "Do you have something you really want to work on?"" In my own experience, I shifted over the past year and a half from playing with a narrow focus (e.g. startup founders, or even climate tech founders) to being honest with myself and recognizing that I felt aligned as I actually coached and served people from 'all walks of life.' In fact, even naming out some of their professions as an example here doesn't feel quite right -- it's not like that profession defined them in an essential way, at least in the context of our somatic coaching work together. The bodymind is the bodymind.
Anyway, as I named that bind... I felt a shift this morning. Like an iceberg had become dislodged, unblocked, things moving again.
For the first time in over two weeks, especially amidst the permaculture course hustle-and-bustle, I felt generative again around defining a niche.
I free wrote about somatically coaching people in their mid-20's who are... (1) lost, carving their own path, stepping into the unknown, (2) tired of stressful work, willing to commit to working lightly for its own sake, despairing, "Will I ever figure this work thing out?, and (3) finding their voice, practicing expression, noticing "being quiet"/observer and gently trying something new.
Also, I'm sitting with a moment from last nights' "Solo Together" when another group member named with such clarity who he's serving. I asked something to the effect of, "How do you know that's your niche? How do you have such clarity around this?" And with a big smile he said, "Because it's me."
In a similar (and perhaps obvious, self-evident way), the three niches of people in their mid-20's I wrote to coach are all parts of me.
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