I appreciate that creating content is an opportunity for exploring interests and topics that we believe might interest our audience, and I agree that writing is a great way to discover what you have to say about something. I accept George’s point that creating content consistently is a practice that we develop over time, and I accept the premise that disciplining ourselves to show up, do the work, and hold  the results lightly makes sense as a way of building our capabilities to create content. 

But there are no guarantees our content will land.

A coach friend of mind wisely told me that she has started taking programs and courses on topics that matter to her clients even if they are not topics that are her passionate interests.. 

This struck me as a worthwhile compromise to negotiate: What topic or issue is compelling enough for you for your development thst you want to invest time and resources to learn AND  that is essential for clients.  

Another aspect to think about is whether the topic or issue is broadly interesting is something that draws on your prior knowledge and expertise. Think AI in the last six months, equity, pandemic response and remote work in the last few years. I’m not suggesting getting on a popularity band wagon is a good idea if the topic or issue is not compelling to you. I suspect popular  topics that are related to you experience and expertise are better to pursue than trying to develop expertise in a popular topic that is brand new you just because it is broadly popular. If you look at AI, for example, a lot of peole are clambering to profit from it, but those with a mix of practical and conceptual expertise are more likely to be able to create content fast enough and compelling enough to draw a crowd.

Drawing yet again from productivity and time management, ideas that are aligned with your purpose and values are worth considering . Susan David would likely say to pursue topics that lead you to closer to your values. Angela Duckworth would likely say if  you do the work to articulate your top level goal, then I would use that statement to evaluate potential topics for not only how compelling to your clients and your own developmental interest but also the larger aim. For example, Duckworth aims to support psychology  literacy through her work. If the topic you are considering don’t advance youe aim then think hard before pursing it. 

So, I’ve surface some criteria that can help you decide what concepts to develop your expertise around to better serve clients:

• How compelling is it for you and essential for your audience?
• How popular is this topic and to what extent does it draw on your existing knowledge and expertise?
• How aligned is this topic with your values and purpose.

What other criteria to you use to assess different bodies of knowlege to pursue?

I am curious what, if any of these ideas land for you.

—-

7/7 Nailed it! This was a fun challenge. Thank you, George Kao.

@Antonio Aversano

Robert Biswas-Diener’s “Positive Provocations: 25 Questions to Elevate Your Coaching Practice” has a lot in common with Adam Grant’s  “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know” 

Both Biswas-Diener and Grant invite readers to adopt a positive, open-minded form of critical thinking and be ready to question  assumptions, common sense, and accepted truths. Grant’s focus is universal while Biswas-Diener writes for coaches.

Biswas-Diener’s first provocation challenges coaches to let go of self-promotion as the way to become a “great coach” in favour of self development. He suggests coaches must set ongoing development goals and to track progress to work towards becoming a great coach because development is much less likely occur without setting goals and tracking progress towards achieving them. Without intention the status quo will out.

——-

Post 6 of the challenge. Almost there. 

@Antonio Aversano

Here’s a situation I notice happen a lot for me:

a) Someone does something I don’t like
b) I think “what a ____ (something negative)”
c) I feel anger
d) I get less of what I’m wanting

An example from this morning from the best place of examples for getting pissed off at others - the roads. 

I’m driving and someone who was parked by the side of the road reverses into my lane causing me to stop (a). 

In a fraction of a second I think “dickhead” (b). 

And then I notice I’m feeling tension and irritation (c). 

And then I notice that I speed up and drive close to them which is the opposite of what I’m really wanting, which is safety on the roads and relaxation in my body (d). 

I was reflecting on all this as it was happening and I thought “what a ridiculous response”. What I mean is that this way of thinking and being in the world is completely normal. Anyone reading this will be able to identify with that experience in one way or the other. 
What a tragedy that this is the way we go about trying to get what we want. 

I want safety on the roads, I want consideration on the roads and I want to feel as much calm (or as little stress) in my body as possible in my life. 

And the way I go about getting these things which are dear to me is to label others (dickhead, asshole, idiot, stupid, blind etc). 

Essentially we’ve been taught that the way of getting what you really want out of others is to condemn them if they’re not giving that to you. 

And this is a tragedy. 

I want a new response to happen in my thoughts and body and I’m trying to instil it into my body and being and mind and it’s REALLY REALLY difficult. But the benefits are worth it. 

I want to turn my labels of others into my wants:
‘Dickhead’ — into -– “Come on man, I want you to look when you reverse”
‘Idiot’ —- into —- “I want you to slow down and take more care on the roads”

Or some examples from my relationships with friends and partner:

“Demanding” —- into —- “I just wish you’d acknowledge sometimes the things I am doing that meet your needs”
“Untrustworthy” —- into —- “I so want trust in our relationship and open communication”
“Cold hearted” —- into —- “I love your hugs and smile and wish I’d see more of them”

I know that for me this type of internal work is immediately beneficial to my body. I immediately feel tension dissipate. I feel a little calmer in my body. I breathe a bit more deeper. 

My sense is that this type of work calms the sympathetic nervous system (that responsible for fight/flight) and arouses the parasympathetic nervous system (that responsible for rest and digestion). I think this because when I have thoughts of labelling others (“cold-hearted, asshole”) it is communicating to my body that I’m in a threatening situation where I might need to fight or flee. 

Conversely when I can say to myself my wants “I just love your hugs and miss them” then I’m telling my body that I’m safe and connected to my deeper desires. 

Anyway, that’s all for now. Would love to hear if anything resonates with you?

@Susan Tutt

I am a fan of Richard Hackman and Ruth Wageman’s model of team effectiveness. It is based on the idea that team effectiveness is based on six team conditions that must be in place for a team to have a shot at being effective. The six conditions are:

• Real team
• Compelling  purpose
• Right team
• Clear norms
• Organizational support
• Well-timed coaching 

Hackman and Wageman put a lot of emphasis on proactive planning by team leaders on putting these conditions into place before a team gets to work and on ensuring that the team launches well. 

In moments of personality conflict, miscommunication and bad behavior, it is easy to forget that the root causes of the situation are usually workplace conditions, and leadership is being willing to name the absence of those conditions. But from Amy Edmondson and hanging out with quality improvement and patient safety professionals, I’ve learned that creating the conditions for speaking up is challenging work.

——

Day five of the challenge. A more abstract reflection on the challenges of teamwork

@Antonio Aversano

There is a common misconception in relationships. Particularly those more intimate relationships like partners, family and close friends.

The misconception is that I am responsible for meeting the other person’s needs and they are responsible for meeting mine.

For example in a romantic relationship, each partner sees themselves as responsible for meeting the other person’s needs.

This is not how I see things, although I find it very difficult to implement the way I do see things.

How I see things, as inspired by Nonviolent Communication, is that I am responsible for MY OWN needs and for finding ways to meet them AND I long to be in a connection with you whereby compassion is flowing between us and therefore I want to HELP you meet your needs and you want to help meet mine.

This to me is a description of a healthy relationship.

Each person takes full responsibility for their own needs, meaning that they don’t expect (even subconsciously) that the other person will meet their needs.

I find this SUPER HARD to implement in my intimate relationship or with my parents.

It’s tricky because I want my partner, for example, to see me, to understand me, to love me, to make space for me. I want this very much.

And it’s a fine line between wanting this to happen and expecting that it will happen.

It’s a fine line between wanting that my partner will support me and expecting that she will.

For me though, it’s a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE energetically.

When I’m connected to the energy of wanting or longing then this comes out with a clarity but with no demand that my partner should fulfil it.

It’s like “I love when you support me in X, Y and Z ways”.

But when I lose touch with my wants or my deeper needs and they turn into demands or expectations of other people, then it comes out as “You must support me now, you are my partner, that’s what partners do”.

I find that when I have this demand/expectation energy in me I feel tension and stress in my body and my partner feels this tension as well and is put off by it.

I believe that the autonomous and all knowing part in her is saying “Don’t try and trick me into believing that your needs for support and love HAVE to be met in these specific ways by me right now. Don’t reduce the enormity of who you are to this. And please don’t place that pressure on me that if I don’t give you love and support now the way you want it then you won’t be OK. That’s too much pressure for me. It makes it out that I’m responsible for your well-being.”

This resonating with anyone?

So our work in our relationships - be it with partners, parents, children, close friends, siblings etc. - is to embody this energy of my needs and my desires are ginormous. Meaning they can be nourished in infinite ways and by infinite people. This still means that I express to these people my preference and enjoyment I receive when they specifically and in this specific way meet my needs BUT I endeavour to do so in a way which is free of expectation that they WILL or HAVE TO do what I’m wanting them to.

For me this is a life’s work because our tendency, which is very deep in us perhaps from when we were infants and from many many generations gone by, is to attach our needs onto specific significant others and cling onto them for dear life (aka ‘if you don’t meet these needs of mine I won’t be OK’)

Wondering if this is resonating with you? What relationships are coming up for you as you read?

For me this is one of the key reasons why relationships break down.

@Susan Tutt