Update:

I just want to post an update about my experience with Focusmate resolving this situation. They were pretty amazing, and said they had already flagged him for some account issues as well as a minor issue in the past. Since the session, he’d been reported yet again. They were able to remove him and said they’ve taken steps to ensure he can’t be back on the system since it seemed clear to them he knows what he is doing and is intentionally misusing the system. Although this is not my first unpleasant experience on the platform, I was able to chat through the different experiences, and I like how they’re handling the situations where people are misusing the platform. They also encouraged me to use a nickname and not share identifying info on the profile page. Overall I was very impressed with how they handled it and plan to continue to use Focusmate.

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Original:

So I had a super weird experience today, but I'm sharing it because I know we also have a community on Focusmate and I want people to be safe out there.

I have very gradually built my business over the past few years, but in these past few weeks, WOW, I have followed thru with some of those previously too scary things that my business has needed and wanted.👏🏼😃 It has been slow over the long haul, but I want my business for the long-term. Last year I finally got some ideal clients again, and it was a JOY! I rode on the wave of that and the relative financial security of a (stressful) part time job. 

However, God/the Divine/Spirit/whatever you might call it -- gave me two clear signs that I needed to find a way to take the next (for me) scary steps, like becoming more visible and being willing to be even more myself in my business. To be authentic in more visible places and ways. One sign was that some of my individual clients finished coaching with me and weren't replaced by other clients who meet regularly. So my business income dropped.

The other sign was clearly needing to leave the stressful part-time job I had persisted with keeping (9 months) and had been so committed to because of the income. It had taken me a long time to find it, and I kept making the adjustments and changes needed, and I had the support of my boss (or so I thought...) 

After a horrible meeting with him in which I was dragged through the coals and criticized for a list of things, (including staying late to try to get work done because my co-worker was gone for weeks...), I decided, "Fuck this job. I am no longer willing or able to put up with this stress and these unrealistic expectations." Also, zero appreciation for showing up every dang day and constantly learning and getting better at the job. I managed to write a civil letter of resignation, and the next day was my last day. (I had nothing to lose by leaving quickly because clearly, there would not be any letter of recommendation from him, and I wanted to be as far away as I could from this place of employment! Plus, I refused to be treated like that anymore.  

This was a huge sign of progress for me -- to choose my mental, emotional, and physical health OVER this ungodly stressful part-time job in which I was unappreciated. I was relieved to no longer have all of the stress associated with that job, and freaked out by the significant decrease in income. 

But I did NOT want to look for another part-time job, dammit! I wanted to take all of the courage and all I had been learning about myself into reinvesting in my business. My job had been so stressful that I found myself unable to do much business development. 

This week, I have two market research calls, which is my first time to ever do market research. Today I had a call with a local therapist about being interviewed on her podcast. (We have a date for August because she already has interviews scheduled every week through July!) I have never been on a podcast -- because it has felt way too scary...

I also have three more nectaring calls this week, one from a friendship I developed on LinkedIn because of commenting on other creators' posts, and the other two are wonderful people I have met in this amazing group. ❤️

I also joined an ADHD support group (because I need that support). I sent a private message to the creator of that group explaining that I am also an ADHD coach, but I will be very respectful about not advertising or messaging her group about being a coach and told her more about me. She surprisingly replied that she is beginning to refer people and would love to refer to me!!! 😃🙏🏼

I only have one client scheduled this week, BUT I feel confident that this will increase again. 

For me, this week is a BFD (big fucking deal)! This has been the most I have been visible in my business since around 15 years ago, when I was meeting with several clients in person and was doing some workshops and was even interviewed for an article about ADHD women in a local magazine. 

Lots of massive changes have occurred in my life since then, and I have needed to redesign my life and the way I approach life. Or maybe return to the essence of the joy and connection I had when my business was reasonably successful so many years ago!

I am hopeful, excited, grateful, and still feel scared, but with so much less fear! Something has shifted, and I have been able to take the scary actions that used to paralyze me.🙏🏼💗

This morning, I was watching George's video on our "authentic outreach message" and appreciating his guidance to let it come from our hearts and a genuine spirit of wanting to serve others... so I wanted to practice that here with all of you! 

A part of me feels nervous about asking for help, and also feeling a bit stuck over the past week about how to request market research conversations.... Maybe, as I write that, it's clearer that it's not the how, but more like putting myself out there inherent to making a public request. Even writing that out loud I feel softer and I'm grateful to 

If one of these issues or yearnings resonates with your experience, would you be willing to hop on a short call and tell me a little more about it?

Issues

• Feeling alone as the leader: You’re holding space for everyone else’s emotions and feel like you can’t process your own feelings with others because you’re supposed to be taking care of them (or put on a “strong” face). As a result, you have may feel numb, burnt out, not motivated, bursts of anger, or things bleeding into personal life. 
• Feeling activated, overwhelmed or stressed at work: You may experience this as lack of boundaries, lack of motivation, not feeling like you’re doing something meaningful or that you’re actually ‘good’ at, and that you just put on a face and do the hours. 
• Sitting in the uncertainty of the path you’re on, especially if you’ve stepped away from a more conventional career: You may be grappling with questions like, “Am I just wasting my time? “ Or comparing yourself to peers and feeling, “I’m behind.” Or otherwise struggling with the unknown inherent to carving your own path.  

Yearnings

• What is the more beautiful world your heart knows is possible?” You’re wanting to recapture some of the idealism you had in college about radically reimagining the world. You want to tune in again with issues you cared about like global poverty and keep that spirit alive even as you get older, have a career, have kids, etc. 
• Play at work: What if going to work could feel like you were at summer camp every day? This doesn’t necessarily mean you turn everything into a game, but that there’s a spirit of lightness, not taking yourself too seriously, self-permission to experiment, letting go of attachment to the results, and surrounding yourself with an atmosphere of joy. 

I'm reminded of Tad Hargrave saying, "Your deepest wound is your truest niche" and I'm realizing, too, as much as I want to do market research, I also just want to have a heart-to-heart and connect with others around these issues and yearnings because they're a deep part of my own struggles and aspirations. I'd love to hear about resources you've tried, what you've found helpful on your journey, what's missing out there, etc. 

If it's easiest coordination-wise, you can just book a time here or comment below and I'll reach out to you directly!